


You're Not In This Alone

by orphan_account



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Ghosts, Hand Jobs, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-05
Updated: 2012-10-05
Packaged: 2017-11-15 17:14:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/529643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Imagine having a painful crush on your best friend. Imagine seeing your dead cousin and talking to her. Imagine being scared all the time. Now would you consider yourself happy? Because Jared does not consider himself happy, not at all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You're Not In This Alone

Okay, he can make this work. He’s fine. He’s definitely not freaking out. And no one is staring at him, Jesus. He needs to calm down, right about now.

It’s not as easy as it sounds, though. 

Jared has this little _problem_. He doesn’t like to call it a problem, but if he’s honest with himself – yes, it is a problem. How does he put this? Oh, well. Back in July, just two weeks or so after school had ended (thank God, only one year to go) something happened. 

Jared’s cousin Katie (“What an ordinary name!” she used to say) died in a car accident. Which is awful, really. Everyone expected Jared to break down, since Katie was basically his closest friend. And he would have broken down, except… Katie was still there.

Not in a metaphorical way.

No, he actually found her sitting on his bed that night, and she looked perfectly fine.

So it’s kind of… weird to just walk back into school knowing he’s sort of retarded. He would very much love to talk himself out of thinking this, but let’s admit it – not just everyone can talk with ghosts. Seriously. 

He can’t help it. He just believes someone will be able to tell what’s going on, and then he’s fucked. People will stare at him – for real then, make fun of him, and he doesn’t even want to think of all the things the jocks would do to him if they found out. As much as he loves Katie and talking to her, as much as he accepts his gift… Well, he definitely doesn’t want anyone to find out. 

He’s brought back to reality by a nudge in his side and, “Hey, Jay! My man’s back, where the hell have ya been?”

Remember Katie being ‘basically’ Jared’s closest friend? Yeah, let’s not forget about Jensen, or the guy who just shouted right in Jared’s ear, obviously trying to deafen him. Jensen is actually Jared’s closest friend, _best_ friend, even. You know, that one person you find at a certain point of your life that is exactly like you, but better. That’s Jensen. 

But – hey, guess what’s going to happen now – there’s, of course, a problem. Because with Jared, there obviously always has to be a problem. He’d probably been cursed before his mother could even give him a name, or at least that’s the only explanation he’s got up his sleeve in case anyone ever asks. 

The problem is that Jared… well, he kind of fell for Jensen in the process. Finding your best friend should end somewhere near, _“Dude, I love that movie too!_ ” or _”So what’s your favorite videogame?”_ and that’s it. But Jared doesn’t stop there. One day, he just caught himself staring into space and thinking, _Man, Jensen’s ass is something I’d bite._

And it was there, just like that. It’s not like he asked for it, thank you very much. 

Maybe you’ve experienced this yourself, so you know that dealing with a hard, hard, _painful_ crush on your best friend sucks balls. But it can work, in the end, because you don’t want to lose that person as a friend. Not ever. So you become the best actor, you probably even deserve an Oscar for all that pretending and scoring at it absolutely. Jared could talk about this. He’s the master of lying. 

“I’ve been… um. Do we have a schedule yet?” he avoids the original question and squeezes all the textbooks closer to his chest.

Jensen frowns and raises an eyebrow all at the same time (he’s the master of that). “Basically, what the freakin’ hell? You disappear for the whole summer after your cousin dies and you try to cover that up with ‘do we have a schedule yet?’”

Well, damn, Jared thinks as he sighs and finishes the long way to his locker. Instead of opening it and focusing on it entirely (well, that would be a good reason as of not to stare at Jensen) he leans his back against it and shakes his head. “Don’t wanna talk about it.”

It’s a shot. Either Jensen will let it go or he won’t, Jared’s not entirely sure. He’s never tried to play this card before, so he waits for a response almost eagerly.

“I’m your best friend. You can talk to me, Jesus. Don’t be all sassy about it, ‘kay?”

Jared is speechless for a second – mainly because Jensen sounds and even looks confused, like he expected anything but this. And then there’s a bunch of other reasons – like, wow, Jensen’s eyelashes definitely got longer over the summer, and his eyes look way more green. And his face is tanned and okay, that shouldn’t look that hot, but it does. And what the hell, what’s up with all those muscles?

“Uh,” Jared mumbles stupidly and he blinks a few times, trying to remember what the question was and if there was any. 

Jensen narrows his eyes and is about to say something when the bell rings and saves Jared from this torture. “This conversation is not over,” Jensen says and although he sounds innocent, Jared gulps and nods sternly.

He’s not fine. And he’s freaking out.

*

“He’s going to find out eventually,” Jared whines and runs his fingers through his stupidly long hair.

Katie purses her lips and curling a dark lock of her hair around her finger, she shakes her head. “No, he’s not,” she answers calmly and gives Jared a small smile.

That smile dies and disappears when Jared glares at her and narrows his eyes. “Yes, he is. Because he’s my best friend and he’s known me since… since forever! He can tell when I’m lying, he’s just… You know!”

“You’re just freaking out because you like him,” she states, dead serious. Jared stops his frantic movements at that and sits down on his bed, joining her. He knows there would be no point in trying to change the subject or denying it, so he just sighs and he suddenly looks a lot smaller.

“Don’t even,” he says as if he was disgusted and shakes his head just like she did a few minutes ago. “Anyway, he _is_ going to find out, and what the hell do I do then?”

Katie looks unsure for a second; she even bites down on her lip and drops her gaze down to the floor. When she looks up, a somewhat sad expression is covering her ghost-pale face. “Do you want me to leave? I could always do that. I mean, I think. You’re my tie to the real world and once you decide you don’t want me in your life, I will disappear. We can do that.”

“What?” Jared squeaks. Okay, so spending the whole summer with a ghost was definitely a bad idea. “That would – I would never even suggest – “

“Oh, shut up, you’re such a girl,” she mocks him and laughs sarcastically. “You would, _eventually_. All I’m saying is, I’m okay with that.”

Jared is just about to open his mouth – to blurt out something stupid, because hello, that’s what he does half the time – when his phone rings. Seriously, what is it today with ringing saving his ass? Because yes, let’s admit it, maybe it’s growing up but Jared does realize Katie’s not going to stick around forever. 

He sort of panics – no, he _really_ panics – when he sees Jensen’s name on the screen, but Katie shoots him a look that makes him shiver and he picks up. Eventually. And really slowly. As if he was hoping Jensen would give up and they could settle this through texts, maybe. 

“Yeah?” And oh wow, he sounds either very tired or very annoyed, or very stupid. Probably a combination of all three, since he didn’t get much sleep last night, being annoyed is his job and he is stupid indeed.

“Heya, man!” Jensen’s voice is echoing through Jared’s mind and even though he might be a bit naïve – let’s not go with stupid, that’s harsh – he definitely can recognize if cheerfulness is being faked or not. And yep, this one is faked. “So, I’ve been thinking. And you know what? Of course a smart-ass like me came up with something.”

There’s a pause, just hanging in the air, and Jared realizes Jensen’s probably waiting for a response. He clears his throat. “And that is…?”

“We need to get you drunk. That’s what we’re gonna do. You need to get all that frustration outta your body and what helps with that? Booze. Exactly. Am I brilliant or am I?”

*

Originally, Jared doesn’t think getting drunk is a good idea. But as we all know, the mind of an eighteen year old boy changes quicker than the clouds in the sky, so he manages to forget about this within half an hour.

So what’s so wrong with getting drunk? Even Katie encouraged this, told Jared he should go and spend some time with Jensen.

And here he is. He’s sprawled on Jensen’s small sofa in his room, on a Friday afternoon, an empty paper cup in his hand, vodka floating through his veins. And it feels nice. He’s all giggly and careless. He missed this.

“Man, I missed this,” he shares his conclusion with his crush – no, scratch that, _his best friend_ , dammit, and smiles. 

Jensen looks up at him from his spot on the floor – he’s legitimately too close, leaning his back against the sofa and all – and nods. “Yea, me too.”

Jensen is a sad drunk. You know, those three types. Either you get all happy, or you get all touchy-feely, or you get sad. Jared is always happy and Jensen is always sad. Maybe it’s that he hasn’t drunk that much yet and he’s got stuck in that “what’s really the point and why am I even alive?” phase for now, who knows.

Jared sits up on the sofa, giggling when his head spins funnily. “Y’know, I’m sorry. For this summer and everything.” Jensen is staring at him, he’s pretty sure. He doesn’t mind. “With all the shit that went down, I just. I don’t know.”

“You ignored my calls,” Jensen complains in the same sad tone and shuffles on the floor, kneeling. He’s basically positioned between Jared’s legs, now that he’s sitting up, and that’s just, wow. What a view. Jensen looks like a lost puppy and he’s still very, very close, and it’s nice. Jared can almost feel the heat of Jensen’s body and what would it be like if he just reached out and cupped Jensen’s cheek in his stupidly sweaty palm and – 

Jared shakes his head to get rid of that hot image and shrugs. “’m sorry. I didn’t know what to do with myself.” Of course, that’s partially the truth. But it’s all he can give Jensen, even now in his drunken state, he knows it would be stupid to mention Katie and ghosts and all that supernatural stuff.

“So you know now?” Jensen asks with curiosity resonating through his voice and blinks a few times. 

Jared’s somewhat not sure if they’re still talking about summer and ignored phone calls, to be honest.

He shakes his head and swallows. “Not really.”

There’s a pause, but not like the one where you just wait for the other one to say something back. They’re just staring at each other, as if they were trying to read each other’s faces. Should Jared say something? Should he try and explain? Maybe it wouldn’t be such a disaster if he mentioned Katie, maybe Jensen would get it. 

Anyway, before he can make up his mind, there are Jensen’s fingers finding their way under the fabric of Jared’s pants, squeezing his calf.

Jared’s breathing catches in his throat and it almost hurts. It’s stupid how he can’t even talk properly, he just opens his mouth and his eyes widen. “What – “

“Shut up.” Jensen’s voice is stern and it hushes Jared completely. Oh, the things you do when you’re drunk. For example, you shut the hell up and let your best friend’s hand touch you. In _that_ way, that way that’s everything but innocent. 

Jensen never breaks their eye contact. Whatever he’s doing – whether it’s squeezing Jared’s calf or pulling away just to place his hand on Jared’s thigh – he’s always staring up at him. It’s hot and unsettling all at the same time. 

Jared is a shy guy. Anyone that has ever spent at least ten minutes with him would tell you that. But in the end, he can’t hold back. It’s maybe because he doesn’t really believe this is actually happening, since this is his every-night dream. So maybe he just fell asleep on Jensen’s couch and that’s it. Yeah. Either way, he gathers up the courage to lean closer and actually brush his lips carefully against Jensen’s.

The response is immediate. Jensen chases Jared’s lips until they’re kissing properly; lips against lips, teeth against teeth, and then tongue against tongue. Jared gets completely lost in the warmth of Jensen’s mouth, tasting it, recognizing vodka and something that’s purely just _Jensen_.

It’s almost too much, just kissing him. Holy shit, this is the most vivid dream he’s ever head – and, wait a second, this is the moment Jared realizes it’s not a dream at all.

He whines when that realization hits him, and he would have pulled away at that, really, if Jensen hadn’t moved his hand upwards, palming Jared’s growing erection through his pants. 

His hips jerk forward involuntarily. It feels surreal when he feels Jensen smile into the kiss. 

Jared could swear Jensen murmurs something like, ‘am I really doing this to you?’, but it’s so quiet he doesn’t respond to it. Because, really, why would be Jensen weirded out by that? He’s basically the prettiest guy in the school and probably every single girl is after him, it’s really a wonder he’s friends with Jared and - _holy fuck, is he really unbuttoning Jared’s pants?_

Jared breaks the kiss when Jensen pulls his pants down and plays with the hem of his underwear. That goes down pretty soon, too.

And wow, Jared and his anxiety, really. For a second, he feels like reaching out and covering his junk, because he feels _disgusting_. He closes his eyes, scared he’d see Jensen laughing at him, but that doesn’t happen.

He flutters his eyes open just in time to see Jensen lick his lips and then spit down onto his palm. Jared’s not really giggly anymore, but if he were, he would seriously giggle now – how is this even happening?

When Jensen finally touches him and smears the pre-come all around Jared’s hardened cock, that’s it. It sets Jared on fire. He fists the cushions so hard his knuckles go white and he has to struggle with the sudden urge to close his eyes again. But, no. No, no, no. He needs to see this. He needs to see all of this.

He needs to remember how Jensen looks doing this – the way his own cheeks are flushed, the way he rolls up Jared’s shirt with his free hand and leans closer to lick, kiss and bite at Jared’s belly. Jared reaches out and runs his fingers through Jensen’s short hair, in a vain try to keep him in place.

Jensen is like… like he’s enjoying this. He makes small noises in the back of his throat, as if he liked how hard Jared is and how his skin tastes. His mouth is fucking obscene.

He runs his thumb over the tip of Jared’s dick from time to time and then goes down to the base, and Jared’s five seconds from begging for more. Even though he doesn’t even know what would more mean right now. 

Jared’s actually too busy not to thrust into Jensen’s palm, but he does, eventually. It’s funny how it all happens in silence – yes, there are moans and whimpers, but they’re soft, held back. It’s as if the moment was so fragile it could break if they were too loud. 

Jared breaks the silence just once, when he breathes out, “I’m so close,” in a high-pitched voice. He comes all over Jensen’s fingers and his own belly when Jensen bites down on Jared’s hip harder than before. It feels like a seizure. He’s shuddering and it takes him almost five minutes to come down from his ecstasy. He almost blacks out, seriously – he sees stars for a few seconds. 

“Wow,” he breathes out and he would probably blurt out something more stupid like thanks, best orgasm ever, dude, but he opens his eyes and, holy hell.

Jensen’s still kneeling there, this time jerking himself off, his forehead pressed against the cushions. If Jared wasn’t such a girl or if he was experienced, maybe he would say something. Maybe he would have it in him to reach out and touch Jensen, even if it was to just caress his cheek or his back. But like this, he just stares at the scene in front of him, mesmerized, with a bunch of obscene things running through his mind.

*

They finish the bottle of vodka, not even talking. And even after that, they’re somewhat soberer than they’d like.

Jared mumbles, “I should go,” and stumbles out of Jensen’s room, and out of the house.

Jensen doesn’t stop him.

You know when you’re pretty sure you’ve made a mistake and the consequences hit you like a tornado way too soon?

*

Firstly, Jared’s head really hurts the next day. Secondly, he feels guilty and dirty all over (mostly because he didn’t bother taking a shower last night, but let’s not even talk about hygiene here). Thirdly, Katie’s not helping it at all.

“Stop freaking out!” he shrieks in a raspy voice for what feels like the hundredth time that day, and Katie just growls low in her throat and keeps pacing Jared’s bedroom.

“He likes you! And you both manage to fuck it up so badly!” 

“Jesus Christ, at least stop yelling, _please_!” 

She bites down on her lip and sighs. He’s lying on his bed and she joins him, sitting down and placing her hand on his shoulder. “You deserve it, you know,” she says quietly, an unreadable expression on her face. 

“I know,” Jared admits, but hey, let’s be fair. “It’s not just my fault, though. Let’s not leave that out.”

She simply nods and instead of finding a solution, she just looks down. “I’m tired. Tired of being here. I have no purpose and it’s pulling me away.”

*

Jensen has balls. That is one true fact and Jared will never forget that ever again. If he didn’t have balls, he wouldn’t show up later that afternoon with an unsure smile dancing on his face.

Truth be told, Jared has no idea how to react to that. Of course, they end up in Jared’s room, he wouldn’t send him away just like that, but once they’re there, they don’t know how to start the conversation.

“Okay,” Jensen states after a few more minutes of standing opposite each other in the middle of the room. “Yesterday.”

“Yeah, yesterday,” Jared agrees, quite happy he didn’t have to be the one to say something. “So.”

Jensen spends a few seconds just looking at Jared, like he wants to be sure that what he’s about to say won’t hurt anyone. “Do we continue with this friendship or do you sorta hate me now?”

_Stupid._ That’s the word that pops up in Jared’s mind, because, really. How could he hate Jensen? Of course, okay, he’s a shy princess and he still wouldn’t admit that there’s an awfully big crush going on, but it’s not like he was unconscious yesterday. He kissed Jensen back. Hell, he enjoyed it. A lot. 

“Friendship, totally,” he says at last and Jensen looks more than just relieved.

It’s fucked up, though. Because Jared has so many questions like, does Jensen do this with other guys, too? Did it mean anything in the end? Should he never mention it again? Will it ever be the same between them? He’s just uncomfortable with burying it like this, but he’s not complaining out loud. How could he?

“Okay, so I, um, I gotta go,” Jensen says after that and that’s sort of suspicious as well. If they were simply continuing with their friendship, they would end up watching a movie or playing xbox or something. This is not them.

That damned summer where Jared just locked himself away from everyone ruined everything. And last night was like a nice dot to end the story. 

He feels a knot tying in his stomach as he nods and looks down. “Yeah. Okay. See you in school on Monday, I guess.”

That’s it. Way to lose your best friend, seriously. That theory with Jared and the fact there always has to be a problem has been proven as right. Totally right.

What did Katie say? That Jensen likes him back? No, not possible, not like this. Even the sarcastic little voice inside of Jared’s head is kind of turned off, as if there was nothing left to make fun of.

*

Yeah, it’s definitely not the same. They still talk and spend time together, but it’s just different. Other people, like their parents, wouldn’t be able to tell the difference and maybe not even Jared or Jensen can put their finger on what exactly has changed, but it’s there nonetheless.

The only times when Jared is able to take his mind off of the whole Jensen thing is when he’s talking to Katie.

She’s becoming more and more distant, the color of her skin becoming paler, almost white. 

Jared is pretty sure he could find a way to keep her in his world, but they’re not exactly working on it. As she said, she doesn’t really have a purpose or a reason to linger here anymore, and that’s why she’s slowly fading. 

It remains a mystery to both of them as to why she is here in the first place, but they’re not trying to solve that either. It’s just the way it is – Jared has become a bit lethargic to everything. He just accepts stuff, as if he was tired of solving one problem after another. 

When Katie finally leaves – it’s an awful day, really; D in his chemistry class, heavy rain with no umbrella and Jensen staring at him – it’s sad, of course. Jared thinks, though, that it’s still better – he at least has the chance to say goodbye properly.

Actually, they don’t do the goodbye thing. It feels like Katie’s going on a long trip and they’re not going to see each other for a few months, but that’s it. The only time Jared realizes they’re parting ways for good is when she puts on her strict face and says, “And hey, Padalecki, you go and talk to Jensen or I will send Lucifer after you.”

*

It’s not like he really intends to talk to Jensen. No. Remember how he actually calls himself a coward and a shy princess? Well, that’s because he is exactly that.

But you know how it is. You want to do one thing, and your life somehow leads to you to something else entirely. So, as much as Jared is a quiet guy always waiting for someone else to deal with things, he just explodes. It takes him a lot of time, but it happens.

He wouldn’t, probably, if it wasn’t for one Wednesday and one lunch. He gets to the cafeteria a bit late and Jensen’s already sitting with a guy Jared has never spoken to. He distinctly remembers they have English together, but he’s not sure and he has no clue what’s the guy’s name.

But that’s okay. It’s totally okay to make new friends. 

Especially if your old ones are weird, introverted and let you give them a handjob from time to time.

It’s something else that makes Jared explode. When he gets to the couple, naively thinking he would simply join them, he catches the end of their discussion. Obviously, it’s very stupid indeed, but it stings. Jensen was just discussing details with the other guy – they were going somewhere or doing something, Jared doesn’t know, but the conversation ended with, “Yeah, we can try that out. I’ll be at yours at four, good?”

And that’s just, no.

Whatever they’re trying out, why the hell would Jensen want to do that with someone else and not with Jared?

Even when it turns out they were talking about some videogame Jared’s never even heard of and trying out a new technique with it. Still, what the hell?

Well, obviously, it’s not because things are still the same with them.

And it pisses Jared off. It pisses him off so much he actually forgets about his usual attitude towards stuff like this (which means zipping his mouth and suffering quietly thinking he’s not good enough) and after lunch when they’re headed to their next classes, he grips Jensen’s arm and utters, “We’re skipping.”

Jensen is a bit surprised at that, but it won’t be the first time they skip a class, so he doesn’t argue. He lets Jared lead him out of the building, to the few trees nearby, where emos use to sit at lunch.

The grip on Jensen’s shoulder even tightens and okay, _ouch_ , even Jared knows that must hurt or be at least uncomfortable. He finally lets go when they’re at the trees and Jensen glares at him, his blue t-shirt all messed up.

“What the hell, Jay?” he spits out almost angrily as if he didn’t see the point. He fixes his t-shirt and looks at Jared with those stupid eyes. And Jared can see that Jensen’s not really angry, he’s… confused. 

“I don’t know!” Jared bursts out and waves his hands. Yep, he’s the one that’s angry. “It’s just, what the hell happened with us?”

“What could that possibly be? Maybe you pissing off for the whole summer? Yeah, that could be the reason!” Okay, not confused anymore. Definitely angry as well. Damn, can a person really look this good angry? Damn, damn, damn. 

“Right!” Jared exclaims and takes a step forward. “Or maybe it’s because you say ‘we need to get you drunk, ya’” he imitates Jensen in a lower voice and weird accent, “and then you jerk me off! And then you act like nothing happened, and then you start leaving me out and making better friends, obviously, and then – “

“So that’s what this is all about? Because I talked to Jeff about a stupid videogame and didn’t let you know? What are you, a jealous girlfriend now, Jared?”

“Oh, fuck you!” Jared spits in Jensen’s face and okay, that’s the harshest thing they’ve ever said to each other. He doesn’t even mean it, but sometimes he just word-vomits and he can’t help it. Jensen could take it literally, which would probably be the best option, but we all know that never happens.

“Really?” Jensen says sarcastically and shakes his head, giving a lop-sided smile. “Wow. So now that we have this settled, can I go?” 

Jared’s silent after that, like all his rage has vanished or like he let it all out with those two stupid words. 

Jensen obviously takes that silence as a ‘yes’, because he smiles again – with that smile that says how hurt he actually is, how stupidly ironic this all is – and turns around. But before he does that, he turns around. “Y’know, I asked you if you hated me. I asked you if you wanted to stay friends. You should’ve just told me.”

“Jensen – “

“Fuck, Jay!” Jensen cuts him off and marches back up to him, changing his mind. “I didn’t even think you would want to stay friends after all that happened. So I’m freakin’ ecstatic when you say yes, and then what? Then you just keep _looking_ at me all the time, and that friendship? Totally gone. And okay, it’s my fault. I should’ve controlled myself, I know. But I just – “

“Give me a second!” It’s Jared this time that cuts the other off. His eyes are widened, like he just realized something. That sentence he buried long ago comes back to him: _he likes you_. “So you say you should’ve controlled yourself. What exactly does that mean?”

For a second, Jensen hesitates. But then, he explodes just likes Jared did a few minutes ago. “That means I’ve liked you forever, Jesus! And I just wanted you back as a friend after the last summer, I just… I thought you realized what I felt for you and decided to avoid me, and okay, I get that – but then I thought – I thought I could try drinking, because that’s when friendships are made and I… I fucking slipped.”

“And you jerked me off.”

Jensen closes his eyes at that and purses his lips. “Could you just not?”

“But – Jensen,” Jared breathes out. This is his moment, like those ‘five minutes of fame’ some people get. Well, this is Jared’s ‘five minutes of being completely honest no matter what it takes, dude’. “I could not, but I – I want to. I mean, I want to mention it, god, no, that makes me sound like a pervert, I mean, I just – “

Jensen raises one eyebrow at him and keeps a total poker face. Yeah, okay, so, that would be a huge ‘no’ for talking. Jared should go for action. 

Before the idea slips into his mind, his palms go sweaty and his body goes shaky. Action. Right. The only thing he could do that would mean he likes Jensen back would be a kiss. Jesus Christ.

But, okay, it can’t be that hard. He managed to grab Jensen’s shoulder and drag him out of school, damn. Kissing him can’t be much harder, or can it?

Jared decides it can’t be that hard in the end and before Jensen can say something and maybe try to leave again, he quickly closes the gap between them and presses his lips against Jensen’s awkwardly. The kiss is probably the most horrible thing anyone has ever done – Jared went for it too hard and he can feel Jensen’s teeth against his lip, but Jesus Christ. Jensen’s not pulling away. He’s not.

They stand there for a few more seconds, not even moving. It’s just Jared’s mouth pressing against Jensen’s, and that’s it. They’re not trying to make the kiss more comfortable – Jared’s freaking out too much and Jensen is probably way too surprised to react in any way.

In the end, Jared pulls away with a sickeningly red blush covering his cheeks. Jensen’s got saliva all around his bottom lip and his cheeks are flushed as well.

“Well, that was unexpected,” Jensen breathes out quietly. And there comes the not-breaking-eye-contact-no-not-ever. 

Jared gives a nervous laugh and nods. “Not really, been crushing on you since forever,” he admits and oh well, that was easy. He could’ve just said it like that before that kiss and he wouldn’t come off as utterly lame.

“Seriously?” Jensen asks and he sounds just like he did back when - _am I really doing this to you_ \- and it’s just ridiculous. 

“Why are you so surprised? You’re basically everyone’s type, it’s just… I couldn’t not fall for you.” Jared could go on. He could go on with how pretty Jensen is, how smart he is, how generally amazing he is – you know, all the things you make up when you fall for someone and you’re not able to see their flaws. 

“Just so you know, I kinda couldn’t help it as well,” Jensen admits and it makes Jared giggle. It sounds awful in his ears, but Jensen smiles at him.

“So… what happens now?” Jared asks eventually and he drops his gaze, as if he really thought this was not going to work out. It still feels a bit surreal – maybe really just a vivid dream this time? – and well, they just had a fight. And besides – 

“I guess I’m not meeting up with Jeff today. I guess I’m spending the afternoon with you, if you want,” Jensen laughs and then he curls his fingers around the back of Jared’s neck. “C’mere,” he says and chases Jared’s lips until he cages them in a proper kiss.


End file.
